Lost in translation II

I remember a post of mine talking about how sometimes people don't get me. Now, there's different forms of 'getting', I guess. Some get my sense of humour (I wonder how!), but not my more serious musings. With some, it's the other way round. And I remember ending the previous post being thankful for at least a few people getting me.

What if they too don't seem to get me anymore?

I mean, is it possible for the people who get you most of the time, to get you ALL of the time? Or is that too unrealistic? Maybe one needs to find a happy balance and learn to reconcile oneself to it. But there is a certain level of exasperation and frustration felt. I'm happy if I find someone who is normally able to keep pace with my train of thought, which in turn allows a far more rapid and productive exchange of ideas. But all of a sudden, if he changes tracks and his train seems to be stopping at stations different from mine, well...

But hey, we're all people, not machines. Things change, people change, right? I guess one can only hope that a connection, any connection- be it of the heart, intellect..whatever, stays more or less the same and only gets better with time. Maybe one must also learn not to expect too much and not feel too bad if that connection deteriorates. I'd always be a lot happier if I know I gave each connection an excellent chance and that its deterioration was not due to neglect on my part.

However, it'd be sad if someone I could relate to thought the same way always. I mean, where's the fun in THAT? I'd hardly like to have discussions with people who always think like me or always agree with me - where's the fun in THAT? Nobody benefits and nobody learns. I say the earth is flat, he agrees, and that's that. We're both idiots. Him for agreeing without proof and me for accepting his agreement without discussion.

But there is always a better way of putting forth your opinions, if you disagree. The most important thing is to listen and listen carefully. Make sure you get exactly what the other is saying. I mean, you wouldn't be even discussing with him if you thought he was an idiot. So chances are, he might actually be saying something significant which you are not picking up. During discussions, I have learnt to reiterate what the other is saying. 'So what you're saying is...'. This helps me get the whole discussion in perspective and, more importantly, strengthen my point of view and my arguments. But the best discussion is when both parties go in willing to BE CONVINCED, and not just to convince.

This is turning out to be a bloody 'How to be a better person/discusser' self-help book! Damn, I hate those things! How did I let this happen to me? I have become...indulgent parsimonious grandmother. Aaarrghh!!

Help.