Sunday, May 30, 2004

Laugh...

...but not too hard, lest you fart.

Lots of fun Sat nite at Vineet's place in Whisper Valley. Not lots of fun thru Sun afternoon which was spent in recovery phase with a parent (not too clear which one) buzzing with best avoided what-are-you-doing-with-your-life questions.

And I get this first thing Monday morning. And it made me laugh. Enough said, it qualifies for a post. And no, I did not fart - that was just friendly advice.

New words added to the 21st Century Dictionary

1. Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success
and advancement by kissing up to the boss.

2. Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

3. Seagull Manager - A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything, and then leaves.

4. Salmon Day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming
upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

5. Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.

6. Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands.

7. Adminisphere - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just
above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

8. Career Limiting Move (CLM) - Used among microserfs to describe an
ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within
earshot is a serious CLM.

9. Generica - Features of the American landscape that are exactly the
same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls,
subdivisions. Used as in: "We were so lost in Generica that I forgot what city we were in."

10. Ohno-Second - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.[lol]

11. Umfriend - A sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed
intimate relationship, as in "This is Dylan, my...um...friend." [umfriends are the bestest!]

12. Cube Farm - An office filled with cubicles.

13. Idea Hamsters - People who always seem to have their idea generators running.

14. Prairie Dogging - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.[LOL..how bluddy true]

15. Stress Puppy - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

16. 404 - Someone who is clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404-URL Not Found," meaning that the requested web page
could not be located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him... he's
404, man." [lol..now, who do we know who experienced a 'higher' level of 404 on Sat nite?]

17. Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
[LOL..p.s. whacking the crap out of something to get it to work doesn't work on EVERYthing. Yes, you, Virgin sitting in the corner...I hope you're taking notes!]

18. Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.

Alright, so I'm easily amused sometimes. Anything that works on a Monday morning deserves a bloody 18 gun salute.

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