The Triassic : A Review.
Tri-ass-ic : a person so full of crap he/she should be given a third hole from which to let it out in a controlled fashion, so as to avoid unexpected explosion and mass destruction.
(‘third’, seeing how the mouth is also apparently being used for the same purpose as the original hole.)
People are usually more than willing to help out with the formation of this third hole, for the aforementioned Triassic. Prime examples of such specimens can usually be found roaming freely in most corporate offices. One does not need to bother oneself with capturing one of these; one usually needs to be concerned about getting captured by one of these.
You might have heard the usage of this term in another context, as in ‘Triassic Period’, referring to palaeontology. The meaning of the term is actually far more complicated, but a simplified usage is given below:
(to a deserving specimen) "You are Triassic. Period."
Make no mistake, Triassics are not stupid. Upon your delivering the above statement, they might display tremendous intelligence and knowledge and ask “Are you calling me a dinosaur??” Of course, deciphering this might take time, considering it will be drowned in the other crap that comes out of the Triassic’s mouth. At this point, it would be advisable to laugh (the ‘work laugh’) and mumble incoherently, before moving away to the printer area. If you are already in the printer area, you are well and truly shitted, because there’s nowhere else you can go – the bathroom’s occupied by the person who was smart enough to escape before you, the water cooler’s too obvious, and everyone knows you do nothing productive at your desk anyway.
The language of the Triassic (refer paragraph above) is difficult, not because it is difficult to understand but because one must sift through so much crap to get to anything of substance. It is not unlike going through a mound of turd looking for an undigested piece of food – thoroughly disgusting, thoroughly pointless. For one’s own safety, one should maintain a safe distance from the Triassic, especially at Crap Time. This time can be anticipated when you see the Triassic standing up in his cubicle and looking around. This behaviour is sometimes also known as 'prairie dogging' - one small noise in some corner of the office and he's up like a rocket, already clearing his throat, practically salivating at the impending opportunity to crap forth.
In the future, new drilling machines will be developed to assist with the formation of the third hole. This will be because current physical methods, though largely satisfying, will be seen as crude and inefficient. The machines will come with facilities to attach torture devices, which can be installed upon employee discussion and consensus. Exciting developments include the attaching of taps, which are envisioned to function much like floodgates. The optimum location of this hole has not been established and test results are awaited.
Remember, early identification and holing of Triassics can make a difference!
This is a public service message brought to you by The Non-Sensei.
(‘third’, seeing how the mouth is also apparently being used for the same purpose as the original hole.)
People are usually more than willing to help out with the formation of this third hole, for the aforementioned Triassic. Prime examples of such specimens can usually be found roaming freely in most corporate offices. One does not need to bother oneself with capturing one of these; one usually needs to be concerned about getting captured by one of these.
You might have heard the usage of this term in another context, as in ‘Triassic Period’, referring to palaeontology. The meaning of the term is actually far more complicated, but a simplified usage is given below:
(to a deserving specimen) "You are Triassic. Period."
Make no mistake, Triassics are not stupid. Upon your delivering the above statement, they might display tremendous intelligence and knowledge and ask “Are you calling me a dinosaur??” Of course, deciphering this might take time, considering it will be drowned in the other crap that comes out of the Triassic’s mouth. At this point, it would be advisable to laugh (the ‘work laugh’) and mumble incoherently, before moving away to the printer area. If you are already in the printer area, you are well and truly shitted, because there’s nowhere else you can go – the bathroom’s occupied by the person who was smart enough to escape before you, the water cooler’s too obvious, and everyone knows you do nothing productive at your desk anyway.
The language of the Triassic (refer paragraph above) is difficult, not because it is difficult to understand but because one must sift through so much crap to get to anything of substance. It is not unlike going through a mound of turd looking for an undigested piece of food – thoroughly disgusting, thoroughly pointless. For one’s own safety, one should maintain a safe distance from the Triassic, especially at Crap Time. This time can be anticipated when you see the Triassic standing up in his cubicle and looking around. This behaviour is sometimes also known as 'prairie dogging' - one small noise in some corner of the office and he's up like a rocket, already clearing his throat, practically salivating at the impending opportunity to crap forth.
In the future, new drilling machines will be developed to assist with the formation of the third hole. This will be because current physical methods, though largely satisfying, will be seen as crude and inefficient. The machines will come with facilities to attach torture devices, which can be installed upon employee discussion and consensus. Exciting developments include the attaching of taps, which are envisioned to function much like floodgates. The optimum location of this hole has not been established and test results are awaited.
Remember, early identification and holing of Triassics can make a difference!
This is a public service message brought to you by The Non-Sensei.
spouted by Non-Sensei at 12/19/2004 08:15:00 PM
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