Obscenity alert
It's so fucking HOT in Hyderabad right now.
Don't get me wrong - I love my Hyderabad. There is a song by Euphoria which goes Dilli hai meri jaan.... I've always wished there was similar song abt Hyd. The city is something else - easy charm, never too far away from anything u might want, lovely places to eat, decent people, quaint language. I just have one small tiny problem with the motherFUCKING TRAFFIC THAT DRIVES ME UP THE FUCKING WALL!!!
I have been understanding road rage from close quarters over the past year or so. One thing the Brits taught me was patience. It's a virtue, apparently (they LOVE saying that. That, and "in this country..."). For a while after I came back to my beloved city, I used to be a very considerate driver, stopping for people to cross, not honking incessantly, letting motherfucking bad drivers get away from me without serious injuries, caused in main due to forceful impact of helmet to side of head.
Sometimes, I am worried by the thoughts that run through my head while driving. Most idiots with reasonably powerful bikes don't know how to use the power. They seem to think it is necessary to drive at 60 kmph from wherever they are to the red traffic light, a distance of oh, say, about 100 metres. OK, that may not be necessarily bad driving - just STUPID driving. But there are those assholes who think it would be more stylish if they weaved their way in at 60 kmph, on an open road, to the light. Then there are those who think the sole purpose of biking is to squeeze between the two-and-a-half feet separating you and the next vehicle. Touching your vehicle, and leaving a long scratch in the process. With absolutely no fucking remorse or apology. Oh, and the million other morons who cut in traffic, suddenly speed up when they see a girl on a bike, and the worst - the madar***** who talk on the phone WHILE driving.
This is when the disturbing images come to me.
I can see myself calmly stopping my bike, while forcing the other guy to stop too. Then, I will take off the helmet, walk over to him, and bash his head in. He will beg for mercy, and I will kick him in the balls. He will express indignance, and I will express uncontrolled rage release. He will, at last promise to drive safely, and I will break his leg just to make sure there won't be any driving at all for a while. And then, I will break a hand too, just because I feel like it.
This is disturbing because I am not a violent guy by nature. I like logical resolutions to conflicts or disagreements. But bad driving ticks me off like nothing else. Do it in front of me, and I'll be on your ass like Rambo on steroids and alcohol. And IF you TOUCH my bike...you can start looking for places which have disabled ramp access and special parking for the handicapped. If you dare drive again, that is.
It cannot be healthy, this violent rage. Ever notice how it's the good drivers who suffer from roadrage? Because all the bad driving chuths have their own little understandings, don't they. Another set of drivers who REALLY piss me off are the painfully slow drivers. These morons just lack basic road sense! See, gnatbrain, it's quite simple, like this - either YOU move, or you let OTHERS move. According to statistics, doing neither suddenly increases your chances of getting a broken jaw by 63%. AAARRGGHHH!! And the strangest part about roadrage is that, because of all this buildup, the guys who made the big blunders will usually get away with it. It is the guy who made some small error who will receive the wrath. You do NOT want to be the recipient of road wrath.
Sigh. After safety bags, they should have blowup punching bags in cars, and maybe even smaller versions in bikes.
For the safety of OTHER motorists.
^
Don't get me wrong - I love my Hyderabad. There is a song by Euphoria which goes Dilli hai meri jaan.... I've always wished there was similar song abt Hyd. The city is something else - easy charm, never too far away from anything u might want, lovely places to eat, decent people, quaint language. I just have one small tiny problem with the motherFUCKING TRAFFIC THAT DRIVES ME UP THE FUCKING WALL!!!
I have been understanding road rage from close quarters over the past year or so. One thing the Brits taught me was patience. It's a virtue, apparently (they LOVE saying that. That, and "in this country..."). For a while after I came back to my beloved city, I used to be a very considerate driver, stopping for people to cross, not honking incessantly, letting motherfucking bad drivers get away from me without serious injuries, caused in main due to forceful impact of helmet to side of head.
Sometimes, I am worried by the thoughts that run through my head while driving. Most idiots with reasonably powerful bikes don't know how to use the power. They seem to think it is necessary to drive at 60 kmph from wherever they are to the red traffic light, a distance of oh, say, about 100 metres. OK, that may not be necessarily bad driving - just STUPID driving. But there are those assholes who think it would be more stylish if they weaved their way in at 60 kmph, on an open road, to the light. Then there are those who think the sole purpose of biking is to squeeze between the two-and-a-half feet separating you and the next vehicle. Touching your vehicle, and leaving a long scratch in the process. With absolutely no fucking remorse or apology. Oh, and the million other morons who cut in traffic, suddenly speed up when they see a girl on a bike, and the worst - the madar***** who talk on the phone WHILE driving.
This is when the disturbing images come to me.
I can see myself calmly stopping my bike, while forcing the other guy to stop too. Then, I will take off the helmet, walk over to him, and bash his head in. He will beg for mercy, and I will kick him in the balls. He will express indignance, and I will express uncontrolled rage release. He will, at last promise to drive safely, and I will break his leg just to make sure there won't be any driving at all for a while. And then, I will break a hand too, just because I feel like it.
This is disturbing because I am not a violent guy by nature. I like logical resolutions to conflicts or disagreements. But bad driving ticks me off like nothing else. Do it in front of me, and I'll be on your ass like Rambo on steroids and alcohol. And IF you TOUCH my bike...you can start looking for places which have disabled ramp access and special parking for the handicapped. If you dare drive again, that is.
It cannot be healthy, this violent rage. Ever notice how it's the good drivers who suffer from roadrage? Because all the bad driving chuths have their own little understandings, don't they. Another set of drivers who REALLY piss me off are the painfully slow drivers. These morons just lack basic road sense! See, gnatbrain, it's quite simple, like this - either YOU move, or you let OTHERS move. According to statistics, doing neither suddenly increases your chances of getting a broken jaw by 63%. AAARRGGHHH!! And the strangest part about roadrage is that, because of all this buildup, the guys who made the big blunders will usually get away with it. It is the guy who made some small error who will receive the wrath. You do NOT want to be the recipient of road wrath.
Sigh. After safety bags, they should have blowup punching bags in cars, and maybe even smaller versions in bikes.
For the safety of OTHER motorists.
^
spouted by Non-Sensei at 5/16/2005 01:08:00 AM
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